I should have started this blog 6 months or more ago, but the idea only occurred to me recently. As we've journeyed through this adoption process over the past several months, it has become clearer and clearer to me that both biological pregnancy and adoptive "pregnancy" are pretty comparable! They are both long, painful, annoying, joyous, tedious, hopeful, worrisome, stressful, confusing, unique, life-altering, expensive, God-given and so much more!
That reality, along with the reality that our future adopted child will deserve to know his or her story just as much as our biological child deserves to know hers, has inspired me to fire up the blog-in-me again! I blogged throughout pregnancy as a memoir to myself and to the child I was growing and birthing. I want to blog throughout the adoption process for the same reasons. It's a little scary and feels some foolish because, honestly, we don't know how or when this process will end. But, then again, we didn't know how or when pregnancy would end. I trusted that I was going to have a baby and I'll do the same this go-round. If God has another plan, that will become part of this blog, as well, I'm sure.
Now...I'm getting a late start, so let's start back-tracking!
It was around June of 2014 that I first contacted Covenant Care and sent in our "pre-application" packet. Megan from Covenant Care initially called me and said we would not be able to start the adoption process until January 2015 (the current month in which I'm blogging) because Olivia, our first child, would not be old enough for us to start the process any sooner. I was bummed, as the website had lead me to believe that as long as Livi was 18 months on the date of the initial training class, we could get started. Although disappointed and bit angry, I kept my cool and was very "nice" on the phone. This paid off (ha), because just a week or so later Megan called me back and said she had specifically run our situation by the director and they had decided they would allow us to start the process in August because Livi would be 18 months the day before the August class!! Wow!! We were on the waiting list, but we were first on the list and they indicated we should definitely have a spot in the Aug class! (This class is only offered twice a year and it is required before starting the process with Covenant Care).
August came quickly and we were thrilled to make the drive to Macon for our first class! We were there from 1p-4p and basically learned the vision and philosophy of Covenant Care (worthy of it's own blog post!) and the basics of the adoption process. It was a very eye-opening and informative day. There wasn't much time to talk amongst ourselves during class, so as soon as Rocky and I got in the car we both said, "So, what do you think?!" I was feeling very assured that adoption was indeed the path God was leading us down, but I honestly had no idea if Rocky felt the same way. The class made the "home-study" process sound a bit overwhelming, in-your-business to a scary degree and I wasn't sure if that was a deterrent to Rocky (as it was a little intimidating to me!). However, I was thrilled when he burst out, "I feel sure this is the right step for us!"
Both of our reactions were such a contrast from way back when when we were considering IVF...we left the IVF clinic, got in the car, had the same conversation and both basically said, "This is clearly not for us!" Not that we're opposed to IVF, by ANY means, but it was clear it wasn't for us. In the same way, we felt clear that adoption was for us and that was a wonderful feeling.
Our second required class was a LONG 2 months later. There wasn't much to do in between the two classes as far as the process went, so we just waited and lived life. We returned to the second class and again were pleasantly surprised. The second class was more casual and we got to hear testimonies from both a birth mom and an adoptive family. Over the summer, I had started to worry that adoption wasn't a good thing for the child or the birth mother, that maybe a child should always stay with his birth mother no matter the situation. Some family things had happened earlier in the summer to remind me that this was a lie and that adoption was often best possible option, but the thought was still weighing on me a bit. Hearing from this birth mother and this adoptive family took that weight away and cemented the conviction that adoption can be a redemptive and beautiful thing that is best for all parties involved.
After this second class, we began the paperwork! Wow, the PAPERWORK!! Fortunately, Rocky and I both can be task-masters so we knocked this stuff out quick! It was mostly filling out forms about finances, family trees, and then collected myriads of government documents. Once we had completed the 20-30 items, we were ready for out first "home study" which was actually a meeting with our case worker in Macon. More on that soon...
